Eat Me.

Anything you can do we can do vegan.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008


The photo I describe below. From the Oklahoman by Sarah Phipps.

So I was going to totally make fun of this photo I found on google image search from the Thousand Hills Mission website. Then I took two seconds to read the website and they provide much needed veterinary assistance to rural animals in developing nations. I'm a jerk but the photo is still pretty awesome.

So I was just browsing through the Sunday paper and came across a photo of "Seaboard Farm No. 62" in Hennessey Oklahoma. The picture is of a stereotypical farmer type Oklahoman man (heavyset, thinning hair, 35-ish, John Deere tee) managing his way through debris of a large hog shed that the roof had blown off in a recent tornado. It's an interesting photo because you can see the rows of metal pens with the really large hogs inside. Some of the little blue pens are covered with scraps from the roof and you can't see the pigs but in other pens the pigs are sort of propping themselves up on the bars of the pens with their snouts to the sky looking around like "what's that blue thing up there!" And it is really cute but other hogs are sort of looking in at their neighbor's pen like "hey are you o-k under there?"

(Just re-reading that made me wonder if there is any sort of academic situation in which I could study the effects of natural disasters on mass farming practices... or write a really sappy pro-vegan children's book.)

At any rate it made me think about 1, how much I hate hate hate factory farming (c'mon - Farm No. 62? Of how many?) and 2, how I like to tell people that cheese is made from pig stomachs. Reason number 2 spurned me to look up the uses of swine rennet and I must stand corrected. Swine rennet is not used to produce cheese. Actually a majority of the hard cheeses in the United States are produced with genetically engineered yeasts. Yeasts modified with calf genes. Produced by Pfizer and blessed by the FDA.

It seems like the cheap-o soft cheeses like mozzarella on most pizzas are made with citric acid *phew* and that assorted other cheeses are made with vegetable rennets - which totally breaks down my argument that being vegetarian yet eating cheese is a terrible contradiction - but then again some are made with "milled frozen cow stomach." And since cheese producers are not required to label what sort of coagulating agent they use to produce their cheese good luck trying to figure it out.

It is sort of an odd thing for me because I wonder if I will always be vegan and think the first thing I would break down and eat might be some sort of dairy product. But then I remember we stopped eating all that in the first place because Amos is lactose-intolerant. Problem solved.

Now I am thinking I should start a little section of the blog called "hypothetical situation." For example on a podcast I listen to dealing with some vegan issues there is a sound byte they use that is a voice saying "What if a monkey made you a sandwich? Then would you eat it?" Because it is such an odd thing and we get (and make up) so many stupid scenario questions about veganism. So here is the first installment of this section.

This first scenario I just made up myself right now on the spot. First scenario: make a list of "food" I would never want to eat again in order of sadness to me (top being the most sad the bottom being least sad):

All manner of sea creatures

Second scenario: If I found a turkey leg in a dumpster would I eat it? I think this question boils down to 1, would I eat from dumpsters and 2, would I eat meat if it were free and I was starving and dumpster diving at a renaissance fair. Ok - I made this scenario up as well. But no - I would not eat a turkey leg from a dumpster. An 8$ loaf of bread in its original packaging sitting on top of everything in another bag with only other breads as its bag mates - yes. But not turkey legs nor other body parts.

Third scenario: Is elephant-riding vegan. Amos and I were debating this one the other day because he said if breaking an elephant is anything like breaking a horse then it is totally not vegan. But I said I thought elephants were most likely smart enough to just let people ride them so maybe it was vegan. (Or maybe I just want to delude myself into thinking I can guiltlessly cavort around town on my elephant whenever I please.) At any rate the jury is still out on this one although Amos still says no to elephant rides.

That is all for our new fun "hypothetical situation" situation and this post.

Nevermind - I have a new section called "funny photos I find on the internet looking for other stuff. See beginning of post.

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